My kiddos can get pretty onery, like most kids they like to be especially onery at home with you, the mom. It gets exhausting. When they are little and trying to learn not to hit and how to clean their rooms and to brush their teeth and make their beds and how to talk nicely etc. etc. etc. The list goes on and on and on. Okay enough of this you wanna hear about what I have to say about it. Right? Okay maybe not, then you should probablly stop reading. But I'm telling you, what I have to say is exellent so you wanna hear this. This idea works great!
So I was getting sick and tired of Time-outs and nagging about the kids getting things done. So I decided to do something about it. I'm not saying that I still don't do time-outs because they are necesary still but it doesn't happen with the same consistancy that it used to. I really just wanted to reward the kids when they did things the right way. So here it is...what you've all been waiting for...
...Warm Fuzzy Jars!!!! TA DA!!!
So now you must be asking what is a warm fuzzy? Well first of all, a warm fuzzy is designed to make you feel good inside, warm and fuzzy! Okay next it is literally a **Beware of Definition** Fuzzy Pom Pom Craft Ball Thingy; see picture below for clarification;
How it works...
1.) Catch your child doing something good. i.e. making their bed without you asking, saying something nice to a sibling or friend, brushing their teeth, really anything that you think is awesome when they do it! OR they arch themself doing something good!!
2.) Let them put a warm Fuzzy in their Jar for the good deed they did.
- I've done this a couple of ways. Now that they are a bit older I will just have them go put the fuzzies in their jar whenever I notice that they did something good. But it also works really nicely to add this into your bedtime routine. Just before bed I would ask the kids what good things they did and I would offer some suggestions. It really helped the day end nicely because the kids were having good thoughts about themselves just before bed and it helps promote the idea that the kids are good and that they think highly of themselves not just you thinking highly of them. I think it helps them have higher self confidence and remember the good things and not the bad. We even added warm fuzzies into the jar for, "I gave mom a hug today!" Really anything that they could come up with I'd give them a fuzzy for, believe me you're not going to fill the jar in one night. We usually did about five to seven a night.
3.) Have them take a warm fuzzy out if they did something wrong.
- I always make sure the kids are responsible for putting the fuzzies in and taking them out, it gives them a sense of responsibility.
- I would not do this part unless you really need it. Sometimes this was the only thing to keep me from blowing my top! For some reason, "Go take out a warm fuzzy for that!" Helped me calm down. We all know when we are angry we do not have the ability to come up with logical consequences. So this one works!
4.) When the fuzzies hit the top of the Jar they get a reward.
- You can also do this a number of ways. I find it nice to switch it up a lot.
- We would let them go to the Quarter machine at the local store. (doesn't cost a lot but the kids love it.) If your like me and usually say, "not today" to candy, machines, and toys at the store this is the perfect time to say, "yes." And then your child might stop saying, "You always say not today! NOT TODAY! NOT TODAY!" If your the kind of mom who always gives in at the store and says "yes" everytime and would like to stop doing that, this is your perfect out. Just remind them that once they fill there jar with warm fuzzies they will get to pick something. And WHEN they throw a fit just let them. Then you can just take out a warm fuzzy when you get home or all of them depending on how angry you are. (You must know that I like to be sarcastic sometimes for that to be funny.) If you are the kind of mom who always says "yes" and don't want to stop then you might not need a warm fuzzy jar. And if you are the kind of mom who always says "NO" then maybe a Warm Fuzzy jar and a reward every once and awhile might make your child feel Warm and Fuzzy.
- Another way I've done rewards is by printing out rewards on strips of paper and then when they fill their Jar they get to pick a reward strip. The strips had rewards on them like go and get an ice cream cone, or go to the playplace at Mcdonalds...really anything you'd be willing to do for a reward. That way they had a reward right away, because sometimes I wouldn't be able to make it out right away so they would just give me their reward strip when we went to redeem their reward.
- Another good idea is to take them to the dollar store and let them pick whatever they want. What the hay your out a buck and they got the joy of picking from anything in the store without a "no." But the thing is you can't say no then after you told them to pick whatever they want(unless of course it's dangerous,) it's nice for kids to get a "yes" every once and awhile to an idea. They may pick junk but they got to pick and they could learn from their own decisions.
- You could give them a dollar for their piggy pank.
- You could even plan a fun outing with the family and then say when everyone fills their jars you'll go. There are always more good deeds you could come up with to catch up the slow Jar filler in your house.
- Don't worry if one fills up their Jar before the other. I've taken one of the kids out when they were the only one to fill their jars and it makes them feel special. Sure the other ones are disappointed but I'll tell you, they sure work harder to fill theirs.
Go ahead try the Jars, it can't hurt!
What do you do to reward your kiddos? How could you change my idea to make it work for your family?