Mission: Save the Teenagers

After hiding out for too long, I decided that authenticity was more important than fear.  I’ve come a long way since my last post. Divorce ripped our family apart and I’m still trying to put back the pieces. I got busy trying to find support from friends, family, and finding a new man.  I did a lot of work on myself. I’ve got a career! I love teaching 7th grade English. I bought a home, a new car, and some four-wheelers.  I plow my own drive, built a treehouse with a zip line and climbing wall, take my kids skiing, traveling, and out to the lake. I’m proud of how far we’ve come, but there is still much to be done! So, I’m back to sharing my fixes! Accepting that I have four great kids, things didn’t work out the way I wanted, a guy isn’t going to come and save me, so I’m going to do it myself. 

Mission SAvE the TEENAGERS has been put into place!!! I don’t need to go into details on the way, right! They’re TEENAGERS! They’re smelly, gross, they make bad choices, they think you know NOTHING, and they don’t want to spend time with me anymore!  Enough said.

1.) Fine, you can have social media. I’m done fighting it and I know I know it causes depression, but not having it is too!! Also, they make ones behind your back eh hem! You know I’m right!  I allowed them to have it and it broke my heart but all of a sudden everything was out in the open! 

        GIVE ME the logins and passwords and put their account on safe mode! 

We even made a TikTok video together. They didn’t let me post it. Apparently, moms are embarrassing!! 

2.) Which brings me to point 2! Sunday is reserved for the family! There may have been a little crying happening when I announced it but then they got excited. It was our first Sunday activity together to learn a dance and make a TikTok video together. Even though there was some resistance, the kids laughed and had fun with me. I think they particularly liked the fact that their mom had to helped! 🤣🤣🤣 We made a list of all the other ideas we want to do together on Sunday. Weekly spa treatments are in order. Bristol is particularly excited about getting 5$ to spend at the mall and having a competition to see who can buy the “weirdest” gift for 5$. I’ll keep you posted!

3.) Nightly check-ins with mom. When they were younger I used to do what I called their 2 min time. I would spend 2 minutes of undivided time with each kid. As life got busy it slowly faded. I’m bringing it back and this time it will also be a time to look at their phones together! BOOM!! 2X4= 8 This busy single mom can do that!

No more trying to make our family what it’s not! We are a house full of girls and we’re going to have fun together!! I spend a lot of time over the weekend thinking about some solutions to some stress in our home when the kids were at their dad's. This is what I came up with. Let’s go!!!

Orange Rhino

I have to say that I have had a no yelling resolution since I’ve become a parent.  Sadly I am not perfect and need some help.  And I’m still working on this resolve yet again this year!  I thought I had myself under control and I had kicked that nasty behavior.  So, I was emotionally stable and ready for a new kid.  Well, It turns out that new kids are the reason for the added stress and tendency to yell.  So, back to square one, well not completely I have all the skills now but I have to implement them and with little ones needing you 24/7 it is next to impossible to accomplish.  My friend Alice told me about this awesome lady who challenged herself and promised her kids that she would not yell for 365 days.  If she yelled she had to start over.  SHE DID IT!  She now has a blog and a book and I love her Facebook group called THE ORANGE RHINO CHALLENGE.  She gives us a look at her journey and the skills she learned to "YELL LESS and LOVE MORE” - Orange Rhino.  She has some great tips and she encourages you to take the Orange Rhino Challenge.  Start your goal off small and then add up to it.  She has some free printables on her website to help you get started but if you do not like all the paperwork and have gone paper free and now do your planning and everything on your tablet or phone she also has an app called the Orange Rhino.  I love the app because I do not have added paper hanging around which adds stress too!  The App is only available for apple right now but if it gets enough traffic it will also be available in android.

Orange Rhino Helps you to:

*Track your Triggers:  I track what types of things trigger my yelling and come up with a strategy to deal with it next time.

*Set your Goal and start over if you need to.

*Forgive yourself when you mess up and try again.

*Give you a support system to help you realize you are not alone.

I have had to start over plenty of times but I feel like just knowing that others are struggling with this too helps me to feel normal and helps me to make changes because I know others are cheering for me.  My kids even helped by coloring the Orange Rhino’s from her blog and we posted them around the house.  While it doesn’t always help it is a good reminder and it did help to get the kids involved and it gave a chance for us to talk about it and for them to feel okay to speak up about it too.

Orange rhino’s are peaceful but charge when provoked. :)

Find her Blog Here!

Online/App Chore Chart

Our warm fuzzy jars worked great for rewarding good behavior but didn't really give us any structure and organization when it comes to chores.  Especially since my kids are getting older now and can handle a daily chore chart.  I came across this wonderful app on my iPhone called MY JOB CHART.
One of the great advantages of using the online program is that it automatically updates everyday.  Sometimes that was the downfall of other charts that I've tried at home. Mom Malfunction!!! I would forget to update or get a new sheet or count points and start over.  This program will do all of that for you.  Not to mention the fact that you can personalize chores for each child and days of the week and you can assign points to be allotted for jobs done.  The jobs can be divided into daytime and night time jobs too.

The kids just login and then check off their assigned, by you, chores when they are complete.  Then when they complete the chores they are given points and then they can choose how to spend their points.  You get to pick the rewards that they choose from and I usually let the kids help me pick too that way they are more motivated to do their chores.  Then they organize their points and can either save, share, or spend.  What a great way to teach money management skills too!!!

It can also be a way to let the kids learn responsibility and less yelling.  If they don't do it they don't get the points and if I have to do it then I don't have the energy or time to do other things for them.  So if they asked, "Can you do ____  for me?"  you could reply, “I'm really tired so I can't because I had to do your chores.”  Also you could assign an even worse chore, like DOG POOP, on the job chart and until the do it mom is out of business. :)

My kiddos love earning points and using electronics for their chore chart and this one had all the features that I wanted.

* Morning, Evening, and Extra’s Checklists
* Customizable
* Daily update...They do not have to uncheck it to check them again the next day
* Tracks all the points they Earned for Each job they check off
* I get to pick what rewards are Available to them
* They get to pick what rewards they want and how they spend their points
* The App let’s me know which rewards they spent their points on and when I redeem the reward for them I check it done...SO I do not forget to redeem!

The app is available on iPhone and android devices and you can use it on your desktop or laptop as well. So if you are interested in using this chore chart those are a few of the ways that you can use it.   You can reach the program online here at myjobchart.com.  If you are searching on your app store search "my job chart."